10 Noteworthy Vulvas
Technically its like 7 noteworthy vaginas, 1 mons pubis, 1 bartholin’s glans and 1 woman’s wrists of steel. But you get it.
1. In 2014 a woman inserted a potato into her vagina on her mother’s advice that it would prevent pregnancy. When roots started sprouting out of her vagina she went to her doctor to have it removed.
When the doctor tells you that your mum is wrong and putting a potato up your cunt will definitely not prevent pregnancy…
2. Tatyana Kozhevnikov holds the title of “Worlds Strongest Vagina”, which she set in 2009 by lifting over 31 pounds / 14 kilos.
Legit this is Tatyana, she is everything.
3. The largest vagina in history most likely belonged to Anna Swann (1846 – 1888). She was 7’5” tall and weighed 350pounds. She gave birth to a 23-pound baby with a 19” head. I mean, I don’t like the assumption that just because she was big, it means she had a big vagina but I can’t deny the fact that is a huge baby and a physical feat on its own.
Anna Swann after pushing out a gigantic baby and all anyone can talk about is how huge her pussy must be >>
4. While masturbating with a banana (stem end first), a woman lacerated her cervix, stitches were required. Hun, why did you go stem first? No judgement but please please please, if you’re going to put anything inside your body please make sure it is something specifically made to be put in your body. Or at least cut off the ends and put a condom on it…
Sex Talk with Jordan does not recommend using a banana with its ends cut off in a condom as a pleasure object or otherwise, and will not take responsibility for any persons doing so.
5. In 2011 a 27-year-old woman was charged with possession of heroin after 54 bags of the drug were found inside her vagina. Just like… what would happen if one of the bags broke?!
6. The longest recorded pubic hair was grown by Maoni Vi in South Africa, her luscious locks measured 28” / 71.12cm. I love growing out my bush but I am still coming to terms with the fact that my follicles are quite sparse so she really only looks “full” when she is FULL.
7. On the Howard Stern Show, a woman called Abby set, what I’m sure is a world record, by queefing 93 times in 30 seconds. You can watch the clip here, the grossest thing about the clip is that for some reason they want her top off as well as pants and they zoom in on her chest while she’s talking... hard eye roll. All hail Abby, Queen of Queefing!
If you don’t want to watch the video - here is a still. Note 74 queefs in 22 seconds. Also the mask is unnecessary, queefs are not waste like farts, they are literally just air. God men are stupid.
8. At the 2009 Denmark Masturbate-A-Thon, the winner of the “Furthest Ejaculation - Womens” also set the world record with a distance of 3.15 metres.
Love this journey.
9. At the same Masturbate-A-Thon, Deanna Webb won “Most Orgasms – Womens” while ALSO setting a world record for most orgasms in one sitting, with… hold on to your butts… two hundred and twenty six orgasms. 226. 2-2-6.
10. In 2004 Lisa Sparxx set a world record by having sex 919 men in 24 hours. Fuck yes Lisa!
I do not look this put together after sex, let alone sex with 919 people.
I’ll leave you with this, when a gynaecologist was asked what it was like looking at vaginas all day she replied “really, it’s just a bunch of different haircuts”. Isn’t that wonderful?
